Last night my heart ached after hearing the news of the death of Adrian Peterson's little boy. My heart ached and I wept for that little boy and others like him. I thought about how scared he must have been his last few moments on earth. I thought about how a 2 year old boy would have been no match for an angry adult to whom his care was in trusted. Having two 2 year olds myself, I know how hard this age some times is. But, I can not imagine how one goes through with hurting them. Was it just a bad day? Was the little boy being overly defiant? Was the man who was suppose to be caring for him drunk or on drugs or just selfish? I don't know, and it doesn't matter. My heart ached and I quietly cried.
As I laid in bed, wrapped up in the arms of the only man I have ever loved (besides my own father, of course) my heart also felt something else. It overflowed with love for my husband. I thought about how kind he is. I thought about how our home is peaceful and our children are safe because he is a good man. Sure, he has his vices, just like we all do. But he is a good man, and because of that our home is a peaceful place.
In the last 5 years I have prayed, I don't know how many times, that my husband would be the leader of our home. I prayed that he would: start to pray with and for me, to sing worship songs in church, to have 'bible study' with him. I thought that if he did these things it would mean he was 'leading' our home. Although, I still do hope for these things, I realized something last night. My husband is a wonderful leader! His leadership may not look like what I *think* it should, but the fact remains, he is leading and doing it well!
He leads our home by the fact that he never fails to provide. He gets up 6 days a week and goes to work. He works long hard days, but has never complained! He leads by the way he greets me and all of our kids when he comes home. It doesn't matter what kind of day he has had; he hugs and kisses us all. I call him the horizon. It takes a lot for him to show anger. He is stable and even and consent, just like the horizon. He leads our home by the way he treats me. He doesn't raise his voice or hand to me. He doesn't call me mean names and as far as I know, he doesn't speak ill about me to others. His leadership is one to be admired!
Last night I thought about the others I dated before him and how my life could have been drastically different had I chosen differently. I thought about how God put his protecting hand over me, even before I believed and trusted in him.
Then, I thought about our 3 girls. About how the paths their lives take will largely depend on who they choose to marry. Here is my advice to my sweet princesses.
Pick a man who loves the Lord. The choices that a man makes will depend greatly on if he is a believer. Can one have a good marriage with a no- believer, sure. But he can not lead my girl to the Lord if he does not know Him.
Pick a man without any major baggage. Do not get caught up with a man who will name call, who drinks heavily, who is addicted to drugs or pornography. All of these things will only tear a relationship apart, not strengthen it. Men who are caught up in these things are not 'bad' people. They are in tangled in sin. Do not trust your heart knowingly to a man who is in tangled in the sin of this world.
Pick a man who exercises good self control. Pick a man who has self control against things like anger or wandering eyes. In the heat of the moment a man can easily say and do things he wishes he hadn't. Pick a man who will do his best to control himself and make wise choices.
Pick a man who will work hard. This life is not easy. One must work hard to provide for their family. Pick a man who will do this willingly.
Pick am man who places low importance on material things. Stuff is just stuff. What is it if a man has lots of stuff but not the means to pay for it? Pick a man who when you do something like, scratch the new car, he wont blow his lid. It's all material. Sure we want to keep the things we have nice, but pick a man who knows that people are more important then things.