I don't always listen and I don't always obey. For what ever reason I sometimes brush it off or fight back. Silly human nature I suppose. But, not listening could have devastating consequences. There have been two times that I have brushed off that voice that have left deep regret in my heart. Once was when I was a new believer and the other was just yesterday.
I became a believer almost 10 years ago. As a new believer I was a 23 year old, going to school for nursing and working as a nursing tech on the surgical ward at our local hospital. When I got to work on a Friday I kept having this feeling that I needed to call my grandfather.
My grandfather was a really neat guy. He graduated from West Point. He flew for the Air Force in WWI, WWII and Korea. He was tough, would tell you like it was and have no apologies about it. But when it came to his grandkids he had a softness about him. He helped me purchase my first horse (the horse I still own 16 years later). Later as he got older I would sometimes do things with him. I drove him to the bank where he would fight with the bank teller and I would quickly apologize after he was done and out of ear shot! Despite all this, we were not super close, not in the since that we would talk on the phone. So having the thought that I needed to call him was not a normal occurrence for me. Instead of stopping and calling him I made the excuse that I was working and I would do it at lunch. Then at lunch time I was tired and wanted to rest so I told myself I would call him after work. Which, of course, I didn't do. The next day, back at work, I had that thought again. 'Call your grandfather.' I didn't do it. I was for sure going to do it tomorrow......
Well, that Monday while I was headed home from the barn my mom called me. My dad went to check on my grandfather as he normally did and found him peaceful in his bed, dead. I had forever missed my opportunity to speak with my grandfather one last time. Regret that I would carry even all these years later.
Yesterday I did it again. Now a more seasoned, more confident believer, I did it again! It was nap time and I was getting everyone ready. I had the thought that I should get rid of this changing table and change the baby on the floor. She is moving so much now and her older brother is almost out of diapers. I don't really need the changing table. Besides, hadn't the pediatrician warned me at her last check up that changing tables were dangerous at her age?
It will be fine, I told myself. I am an old pro at this by now!
That night as I was getting everyone ready for bed. I had the baby on the changing table and the twins running around. "Everyone in bed! Don't make me say it again!" I turned to grab a diaper, not realizing that the baby was reaching for something that was sitting on the dresser next to the changing table. The next thing I knew I was headed to the ER with my precious one year old.
She had fallen head first off the side of the table and on the way down her shoulder caught the corner of an open draw that left a large gash in her otherwise flawless porcelain skin. I immediately thought of the fact that I had just brushed off that little voice, 'ditch the changing table.' Regret filled my heart.
Baby Girl was the first to get stiches in my crazy clan (if I was a betting girl, I would have lost everything we own because I would have placed it all on my son!) Four stiches in her shoulder. She did great and the Doctor and PA were wonderful, but I couldn't help but think it could have been prevented if I had just listened and obeyed!
Mommy and baby girl in the ER waiting for stiches.
Despite feeling regretful, I can not help but notice how God still protected Baby Girl in this situation, even though her mama was not obedient.
About a month ago we had to get a new healthcare plan due to Obama care (that is another subject for another time!) I searched around and got us a plan and paid for it. I didn't think anymore of it but 2 days before her fall, my husband realized that they had not actually enrolled us in the new plan. We called and got it figured out the day before her fall.
Baby Girl was due for her well check 2 days before her fall. I had to call and change her appointment due to a conflict. The next available one wasn't until next Monday. Which is now going to be perfect for the pediatrician to check her stiches to make sure they are healing well.
When she fell, she fell head first into a large pile of dirty cloths, thus protecting her head from hitting the floor. She also caught the draw with her shoulder and not her face! Oh how much more regret would I have if she had needed stiches in her face!
It is amazing to me that we can be disobedient to the Lord, we can brush him off and make excuses for not doing what he asks of us, but he still protects us. He still loves us and watches out for us. I am so grateful that he protected our sweet girl last night. I also used my disobedience as a learning tool.
The first thing did after breakfast this morning was remove the changing table from the house!
I am learning to listen. I ask my children all the time to listen to me the first time I say something. I wonder if the Lord finds it amusing that he is still teaching me the same lessons I am trying to teach my sweet kids!