Love Feels Like

For a long time I struggled with the idea of God. It wasn't that I didn't believe, I just had trouble fully committing. I wanted to sit and chat with God first, kinda like an interview. I wanted to shake his had and ask him why he thought he deserved my devotion. My faith. What made him so great that I should trust him. Trust. It's a big word. When it's broken, it's painful. Who wants that kind of pain? What made him so worthy of trust? I needed to touch him before I could trust him.

I have been participating in a 30 day on line challenge where there are little questions to get you thinking or actions you can take. It's been fun. And eye opening. One of the questions was "What does love feel like to you." When I hear the word love, my mind automatically goes to
1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Love never fails.

This passage is how I am suppose to love (confession: I fail at loving. I fail at loving my husband and my kids. I fail at loving my neighbor and myself. But I am trying to learn to love better.) This passage tells me how to love, but it doesn't show me what love feels like. So as I thought about what love feels like, I though of this verse, "Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:8.  The Lord knows that some of us would struggle with not being able to touch him before we could trust him. He knew this, and I believe that is why he makes himself tangible in everything, if we are willing to just look for him. 

We can taste his goodness in a sweet, juicy watermelon on a hot summers day. We can see the happiness in our kids faces as they enjoy the messy, sweet treat. We can taste the goodness of the Lord in chocolate late at night in a finally quiet house or in coffee in the early morning hours (and all the tired mamas said Amen!) God is in everything. His fingerprints are all over this world, all over our hearts. He's in the messy and the joyful. Hes in our mundane day of folding laundry and wiping noses and hes in the extraordinary days that may only come once in a life time. He's there. He's tangible. He's visible. 

So what does love feel like to me? 

To me, love feels like a big family in a small house. It's full of motion and noise almost consistently, until it's not. The evening comes and it is quiet. Love feels like tiptoeing toes up the stairs to peek in on 5 little face in 3 little rooms, one last time for the day. Love feels like a sticky floor that will just not stay clean because there are so many little feet running in and out all day long. Love feels like long homeschooling days with breaks in the middle to take walks and ride bikes. It fees like fresh eggs gratefully gathered on cool mornings from mama hens that we have watched grow from tiny chicks. It's a bucket on my kitchen counter filled with dirty pond water and two little tadpoles; 10 little eyes watch and wait for God to show his glory and majesty as frogs slowly appear.  A beautiful lesson of patience and in waiting on God and his perfect timing is learned. Love feels like a confident strong man sleeping in the bed next to me. He steals the covers and hogs the remote, but he protects my heart and loves my imperfections. Love feels like the thin pages in my bible where God reminds me I am worth more the the size of my pants, that I am not defined by my past and that he has a plan for my future.

Lord, I pray today that your love will be felt. I pray that everyone reading this will slow down long enough to see your fingerprint on their day and their heart. That they will taste your goodness in all the days to come. Amen.