Perseverance and Parenting
This morning I said some words I should have only thought. I have a habit of letting things slip from my lips that I should keep locked tight. A secret you've asked me to keep? Well, that's safely locked away. No worries there. But when I get frustrated with my kids, phew. Who knows what's coming out. I hate it. And I'm working on it for sure. I'm glad to say that there are quite a few times a day where I think something but my wicked tongue stays still. Progress, I guess.
But this morning I said something I immediately regretted. The day was still fresh and new. Kids in pjs where piled high on my bed. Baby blankets and stuffed animals they still hold dear were tucked all around us; remnants of their little years that I know will be all but gone soon enough. And then it happened. One child asked another for a back scratch and the other child refused.
Not a big deal? Oh yes it is. It's not about the back scratch, it's about the heart issue inside the child who refused to do the scratching. What an easy way to love on your sibling. And they refused. This heart issue is one we've been working on for a while now. It's slow going and sometimes I don't think they will ever get it. And that is what I said, "I don't think you'll ever learn." Ouch. It hurt me as soon as I said it, and I wasn't the one who got hit by that nasty little arrow.
Fast forward a few hours. Apologies were given, hugs were had and a back was scratched (more then once). Things are better. The kids are running free. It's summer time and even though we have a bit of homeschooling work to do, the sun is out and the air is warm. We have a book shelf (or two) full of wonderful curriculum. The books I've placed on that shelf I pray will teach my kids math and history. It will teach them bible verses and reading skills. But I know there is no better teacher then the outdoors. So, the kids run free until they can't or they won't. They swing and climb and chase the dog away from chasing the ducks. They are making mud pies for the Box Car Children game they play in our horse field. Life is back to normal.
Alone in the house I sit at my desk. With a big family living in a small house, there's very few spots that are mine. But this desk, its mine. I got it free from a friend who brought it over to me. I didn't even realize I wanted a desk; That I needed a desk, until it was here. Now it's my space. The only place I have in this little farm house. I want to find a scripture on growth. Because growth is something I long for. I want to grow. I want to shed all this sin in me. I want to grow to be a tall, strong oak tree for my kids, for my husband. I want deep roots and green leaves. I want to stand firm in trials and strong wind, not bend at the first sight of sin. I want to provide shade and rest when its needed. I want to utter words of wisdom that come from hundreds of years of experience. So I go to my Father's word.
I googled scripture on growth. Yep. I googled it. Life has become so easy for us. I think about all the children who were raised in this old home. This farm house was built in 1908. I can almost imagine the babies who were born inside these walls. Mothers painfully willing a child into the world as grandmothers and aunts stood close with helping hands and prayers on their lips. I can almost see the children running free, the way mine do now. I'm sure there were heart issues back then that mothers had to deal with. But I wounder, as my fingers type in my phone, have all these things we have invented to make our lives easier, only made it more difficult? I can't make a pie crust, but I can buy one at the store. I have a washing machine to wash all my laundry for me (and dry it!). Piles and piles of clothes. Do we need all these cloths? We have robots to vacuum our floors, TVs to entertain us. Kids don't have to value anything, because if the cheap toy breaks we can just buy another. We don't even have to open our Bible any more. Some times I wounder if in the quest to make our lives physically easier, we've only created a more difficult spiritual one.
Here is the scripture that google found for me. I open my Bible to read it from there. Because holding this book and turning these thin pages feels better to me, then holding a cold, hard phone in my hand. The Bible has the weight of Love and Sacrifice. I feel the pain and suffering and joy and hope buried deep within these pages when I hold it in my hands. Feelings my phone could never convey.
The words in this scripture remind me that parenting is a job won by perseverance. It's a job of preparing the hearts of little ones; making sure the soil, their hearts, are ready for planting. It's a job of tucking seed after seed in their little hearts. Then the job of persevering until the day the crop has grown up. Perseverance is hard, but the crop will be well worth the labor!
But this morning I said something I immediately regretted. The day was still fresh and new. Kids in pjs where piled high on my bed. Baby blankets and stuffed animals they still hold dear were tucked all around us; remnants of their little years that I know will be all but gone soon enough. And then it happened. One child asked another for a back scratch and the other child refused.
Not a big deal? Oh yes it is. It's not about the back scratch, it's about the heart issue inside the child who refused to do the scratching. What an easy way to love on your sibling. And they refused. This heart issue is one we've been working on for a while now. It's slow going and sometimes I don't think they will ever get it. And that is what I said, "I don't think you'll ever learn." Ouch. It hurt me as soon as I said it, and I wasn't the one who got hit by that nasty little arrow.
Fast forward a few hours. Apologies were given, hugs were had and a back was scratched (more then once). Things are better. The kids are running free. It's summer time and even though we have a bit of homeschooling work to do, the sun is out and the air is warm. We have a book shelf (or two) full of wonderful curriculum. The books I've placed on that shelf I pray will teach my kids math and history. It will teach them bible verses and reading skills. But I know there is no better teacher then the outdoors. So, the kids run free until they can't or they won't. They swing and climb and chase the dog away from chasing the ducks. They are making mud pies for the Box Car Children game they play in our horse field. Life is back to normal.
Alone in the house I sit at my desk. With a big family living in a small house, there's very few spots that are mine. But this desk, its mine. I got it free from a friend who brought it over to me. I didn't even realize I wanted a desk; That I needed a desk, until it was here. Now it's my space. The only place I have in this little farm house. I want to find a scripture on growth. Because growth is something I long for. I want to grow. I want to shed all this sin in me. I want to grow to be a tall, strong oak tree for my kids, for my husband. I want deep roots and green leaves. I want to stand firm in trials and strong wind, not bend at the first sight of sin. I want to provide shade and rest when its needed. I want to utter words of wisdom that come from hundreds of years of experience. So I go to my Father's word.
I googled scripture on growth. Yep. I googled it. Life has become so easy for us. I think about all the children who were raised in this old home. This farm house was built in 1908. I can almost imagine the babies who were born inside these walls. Mothers painfully willing a child into the world as grandmothers and aunts stood close with helping hands and prayers on their lips. I can almost see the children running free, the way mine do now. I'm sure there were heart issues back then that mothers had to deal with. But I wounder, as my fingers type in my phone, have all these things we have invented to make our lives easier, only made it more difficult? I can't make a pie crust, but I can buy one at the store. I have a washing machine to wash all my laundry for me (and dry it!). Piles and piles of clothes. Do we need all these cloths? We have robots to vacuum our floors, TVs to entertain us. Kids don't have to value anything, because if the cheap toy breaks we can just buy another. We don't even have to open our Bible any more. Some times I wounder if in the quest to make our lives physically easier, we've only created a more difficult spiritual one.
"But the seed on good soil stands for those
with a noble and good heart,
who hear the word, retain it,
and by persevering
produce a crop."
Luke 8:15
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